bizarre drama

i am going to try to relate today's drama in a very short story. here goes: in 2002, i returned a book to the library. in 2003, the library accused me of losing it. in 2004, the library exonerated me and wiped the fine. today (2006), the same librarian wrote to me, saying records indicate overdue book and please return it immediately. but she wrote from a Yahoo account in her name, not a university account. i wrote politely that we had solved the problem in 2004. she replied with a rude note that included "state lines", "federal offense", "i regret your obstinance" - plus the name of a librarian conference that a friend is attending. AHA! i figured she and my friend must have somehow met at the conference and be fcukngi with me. called my friend, but NO, it was not her, and she suggested i write to the library director. i wrote to the librarian's boss. the boss printed the letter and showed it to the librarian, who wrote to me immediately from her university account asking for an electronic copy so she could trace the IP, because the yahoo account was not her, but someone pretending to be her. simultaneously, i was forwarding these bizarre correspondances to an idiot friend, and my idiot friend finally called to tell me it was a joke, call off the dogs. (federal offenses and jokes, i always get those two confused) idiot friend had a copy of an email from the librarian from our 2004 correspondance that i had stuck in a book i lent him. he actually took the time to a) copy the overdue notice precisely, and b) set up a fake yahoo account, just to get my blood pressure up.

it was a mess, but i explained it to the library people, they seemed OK with it, it doesn't look like he will be arrested. i think the part that won them over was when i promised to "give up my stupid, stupid friend and save them the trouble of tracing the IP" if a formal inquiry was required. (offering to give him up was the part i enjoyed most, too!)

anyway, j, it's all over and done...but i reserve the right to make fun.